I hate being sick

sorry I have not posted in awhile. I had another harvest.My white count was 8 at the time of the harvest and had alot of healthy cells in it. So the doctors are optimistic that this strand of therapy will be even better. I had a few problems during the harvest, like they accidently swabbed my head with betadine wich I am allergic to. So now my bald head is covered in a rash. I have had alot more headaches and they are getting harder to control. I know it is a good sign because it means that something is seperating or shrinking. There is a concern about one of the tumors that is at the midline of my brain and is very close to the cerberall fluid. After speaking with my oncologist and some co workers we have decided that after this procedure we are going to wait longer than the 3 months that the cancer soceity wants. I am going to give this longer to work and see how good the outcome is. If things don't progress I will restart treatment.
As of right now my white count is up to 13. The headaches are a constant all day and I can barely control the pain at times. Of course it is worse at the end of the day. but my balance is slowly getting worse. Due to the pain sometimes I am double and triple checking things at work for fear of messing up. I am extremely lucky that all I have to do is ask Dr.S to check me when I am having a hard time and he thankfully does. I am sure I will be making this up in babysitting time!!!
I got a little freedom by being able to drive on Monday but I took it upon myself to go food shopping after work. The extra errand gave me some problems and my mind started to wander. I had to stop and get gas and went to the most out of way gas station plus I could not focus by the time i got home. then the mother of all headaches hit. I have not been able to break it since. I goes from a all over dull ache which I can handle to a all out sharp stabbing pain.
Chemo has started up again, hello nausea!!! But I am taking my phenergan and stronger pain med at night which has helped me to keep more food down. But I feel bad as always for my family and daughter as they bare the brunt of my worse pain and attitude.I still am hopinf for the day that I will be able to actually do something outside the house with Megan.
So procedure number whatever is scheduled for the 14th or 15th of this month and then we will see. My husband and brother in law are planning a dive trip for me for mother's day. I am excited because I think the pressure change might actually help the pain,because when I hold my head the pain gets better. So here is to the pain that is making it all better and hoping for my 2nd miracle.